Overcoming Relationship Conflicts through Counseling

When it comes to relationships, conflicts are a common occurrence that can happen between friends, partners, and family members alike. Though they may start out small, they can turn into bigger issues if not properly addressed.

Working through conflict is an essential skill in adult relationships that can lead to deeper understanding, closer connection, and enhanced communication skills, and counseling provides a healthy setting where you can accomplish this. 

Through guidance from a counselor and a mutual willingness to find a resolution, you can work through problems with your loved ones and find lasting solutions. 

What is Counseling?

Counseling describes the process of short-term talk therapy. People go to counseling for many different reasons, with some being personal and some involving situations with other people. Common reasons for counseling include disagreements, grief, life changes, and stress. 

This form of therapy gives you the space to get things off your chest that you may have been holding in for a long time. Talking things through can promote a greater sense of self-awareness, help you come to important realizations, and teach you productive strategies to help you going forward.

Having a professional to listen and offer guidance is key, because they will be able to approach your situation through a different lens and show you things you might not have been able to identify on your own. The end goal of sessions is to help you find permanent solutions for current issues in your life. 

About Relationship Conflicts  

Relationship conflicts look different for everyone. Miscommunication and misunderstandings can happen from time to time, whether over the phone or in person. In some cases, one person doesn’t convey what they actually mean, and in others, someone simply misunderstands another person’s point or intention.  

Boundary crossing can also occur. When a person does not feel respected, they may grow frustrated or even pull back. This is especially problematic when a boundary has been explicitly communicated and is still ignored. 

Other issues can involve personal disagreements, needs not being met, or one person treating another person unfairly. All of these events can lead to frustration and resentment, and these feelings will only grow worse if they are not expressed to the other person. 

Friendships

When you experience a friendship clash, it can be difficult to navigate. Whether it’s with a person you’ve known for a long time or someone you’ve come to know recently, it’s not easy to deal with disagreements, fights, or frustrations with someone you consider a friend. 

For example, imagine that a longtime friend of yours has always been kind to you. One day, they start to act differently, making jabs at your expense that leave you feeling hurt and confused.

If you are not a confrontational person by nature, you might not know how to handle the situation. Maybe you want to ask them why they are acting that way but hold back because you feel anxious about the conversation. Maybe you feel frustrated with how they have treated you and don’t want to speak to them at all, retreating from the friendship instead of facing the issue. Maybe you want to hurt them back and find yourself retaliating. 

Though these feelings are human, they are not productive ways to solve the problem. Genuine friendships are built on both honesty and compassion, which can involve hard conversations at times.  

Romantic Relationships

Conflicts in romantic relationships are inevitable, especially when you’ve been together for a while. It is crucial to deal with them early so you can strengthen your connection and learn how to better support each other. 

As an example, let’s say that a need of yours is words of affirmation, and your partner does not meet that need for you. On their side, they may have no idea how important that action is to you, but on your side, you don’t want to have to ask them to do that for you. 

Over time, you find yourself growing angry with them for not showing up for you how you want, and you emotionally withdraw from them. Your partner is confused as to why this has happened, and you are frustrated that you have to explain it to them.

Both sides have valid feelings, but continuing this way wouldn’t help either party. This is where another person’s guidance could help. 

Family Relationships 

Family disputes can happen between siblings, in-laws, cousins, children, and parents. The closeness that comes with being related and spending extended periods of time together unfortunately also brings an increased likelihood of conflicts.  

Take boundary issues for example. Imagine that you just had your first child, and your in-laws are not respecting your wishes for visitation. This causes tension between your in-laws, you, and your spouse, creating stress for everyone at a time when understanding is more important than ever. Further, it might impact other family members who are not directly involved, influencing group settings and creating a stressful environment. 

Healthy resolution can benefit both the disagreeing family members and other members as well. And in some cases, a repeated boundary offense might be an indicator that a relationship requires some space.

Finding a Resolution 

Counseling can help you address these situations respectfully, honestly, and productively. You can partake in individual, couples, or family sessions, depending on your needs. 

Your counselor will serve as a neutral third party, offering professional insight and guiding the conversation.  In family or couples therapy sessions, counselors tend to serve a mediator role, and in individual sessions, they can offer you support and advice for how to address your situation.

Sessions come with many relationship benefits, helping to:

• Foster healthy communication
• Promote mutual understanding 
• Nurture closer relationships
• Encourage true resolution

In the end, talking things through can lead to a deeper understanding of your feelings, needs, and wishes, as well as the other person’s. You can find a genuine resolution for the problem at hand, whether that means taking a step back from or toward your loved one. 

And if you do talk to them, you might be surprised to hear their side of things. You might even find that your relationship becomes deeper after authentic communication between you both. 

Support from PVFC in Pocatello and Soda Springs

Our team at PVFC would love to help you address a relationship conflict in a safe space. For those in the Pocatello and Soda Springs areas, we have counseling services available from compassionate, licensed professionals.

Reach out today to learn more about how we can help you strive toward healthier relationships.